Dear AMMA-letter 1

Amma,

I need to try to be like YOU mother in terms of serving everyone happily in whatever way possible and have a smiling face always . I need to help people as much as possible. I know your is guiding me in all my ways.

I have been really very irregular in all my activities...I need to improve on that..I need to really watch on my diet...
I have always been very careless and absolutely no control over my foood!! YOU know that...! i want you to make mee get up early and make a regular habit of mine to do exercises and watch on my food,diet..! I think of your diabetes which toook YOU away from us. I am never serious about my health...! At times I start doing exercise and its not consistent...! I felt the same and was saying father about that today....! If it had been my father before your death , he would have given a big lecture and sent a beautiful mail to me advising mee to take care of health and take care of overall personality development (health,family,society,spirtual,finance). Appa has gone to a different level and come to a stage that everyone is responsible for their own KARMA.
I felt very much when father said I cant worry for you or cant give advise to you.. Its your responsibility. I know he is right...I can't be spoon-fed always like a kid...! But, felt how much father has gone through and had come to this level of mind-state!!

I am very emotional and have started to write to this...! I thought I should also start writing like this whenever I want to like how father does!
I saw my marriage VCD yesterday. I felt soo happy seeing your smiling face! I would want things to become exactly the same as it was before SEPTEMBER 18th,2006!!

I sometimes feel if I really loved you sooo much....have I expressed or done anything for whatever you have done....!! at times I think, i am soo engrossed with the day to day activities that I don't think about you only.....! I feel if I have learnt to live without YOU! Am I not missing you ? Am I becoming tooo selfish!? just caring on with life forgetting my amma!?

I think about you if I feel something is not good around...if I want to pray for myself or people around mee!! I have taken you to the state of GOD...
I know that you are watching us closely...I know you have been behind the good assignment that kumar athimber has got with HSBC, sridhar 's singapore assignment and my DELPHI,Singapore job!! I always think how happy you would feel to visit us in Singapore and to see mee working in a foreign country...
Amma..
you know I wear formal pants and shirts to office... :)
I can visualize how you would proudly smile seeing me in the attire!

I want you to be born as a child to RAMA....! Poor girl misses you sooo much!
from now on, I will also write to you as and when I feel like pouring out my emotions, prayers..happenings...!