There has been quite a bit of developments in my personal front since my last post. I have moved back to Chennai since Aug,09. Its been a mixed feeling about moving back to the same place where I studied and started my career , being back to be close to my father. There were things like getting adjusted to crowd ,traffic, pollution etc having lived in a little more sophisticated, clean/greener city like singapore. I am quite happy about being close to my father and that too staying for about 4 months with him along with my husband after moving back from singapore.
There has been a very sad event in my life of losing my 4 month old foetus in November,though we had taken too much care and I had been on lot of medicines.... I was not very optimistic about my sister's doctor (whom we consulted initially) and being put into lot of medications since the beginning of pregnancy. I always felt that medicines should be to the minimum and wanted to have peaceful walks, active lifestyle etc for my pregnancy. As things didnt go as imagined, I think, I was disappointed and those negative thoughts had yielded in this or should I say family history is repeating! I dont understand why this happened and dont want to overanalyze. But, I am trying to accept this harsh reality. Its another major setback after my mother's loss. I am not sure when I would beget a child again. Hope and pray that it would be sooon. I am consoling myself thinking about my friend in singapore, who lost her 4 yr old boy ,her parents and sister all in a car accident..
I am a little confused on whats the next thing to do..! Idle mind is devil's workshop..
When I was working and managing everything in Singapore all by myself, without any domestic support, I was feeling that I deserve a good break from work and enjoy life by being a housewife for sometime and learn some new skills like baking etc and infact wanted to explore something very different than SW. line like montessori , teaching etc.
This incident has made me get into a retrospection mode on what I think is important in life..
Currently I am completely on rest with good domestic support (be it a domestic helper or inlaws to take care of all household stuff), I am very desperate feel I want to join back work!! Its contradicting feelings running in my mind.
I am not sure what is the best thing I need to do at this time.. I have started to explore job oppurtunities ,but still corner of my heart/mind prefers to take things a light...! I am not sure whats in store for me... Lets see, time will be the best answer. I shall keep you posted on small things thats happening in my life...
Bye 2009...wish & pray 2010 is a better, happy one for all of us...
Shuba
:)
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6 days ago
